Episode 100

Why Working Harder Isn't Working Anymore

It is 7:45 on a Tuesday morning, and you are already at your desk. Nobody asked you to come in early, but somewhere along the way, arriving early started to feel like part of doing a good job.

Your inbox has 23 unread messages from yesterday afternoon. There are Slack notifications waiting for you from last night. Your calendar is packed with meetings starting at 9:00 AM. Somewhere underneath all of that is the work you were actually hired to do, the work you are genuinely good at, and somehow that is the work that keeps getting pushed to tomorrow.

If this sounds familiar, it may not be because you are bad at managing your time or incapable of handling your responsibilities. You may simply be operating according to a definition of hard work that stopped serving you a long time ago.

Where We Learned That More Effort Means Better Results

Most of us did not consciously choose our relationship with work. We inherited it.

For many high achievers, that relationship started in school, where more effort often produced a better outcome. Study longer, and you might get a better grade. Participate more, and your teacher notices your engagement. Take the extra-credit assignment, stay after class, master the material, and you are rewarded.

The formula was beautifully consistent: put in more, get more back.

For people who cared about doing well, that lesson became deeply ingrained because, at the time, it worked. The problem is that many of us carried the same formula into adulthood, where more effort does not always produce a better result and where the cost of constantly doing more can be much higher.

The workplace may even reinforce the pattern at first. Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer. Keep your door open. Be the person who always says yes and can always figure it out. You develop a reputation for being reliable, capable, and willing to help, and that reputation can create opportunities.

Eventually, though, the behaviors that helped build your career can become the same behaviors that make it difficult to actually enjoy it.

When Being Helpful Turns Into Scope Creep

Scope creep often starts with something completely reasonable. Someone needs help with a project, you have the skills, and you step in.

You do a great job, which leads to the kind of feedback that is difficult for any high achiever to resist: “You are so good at this. I don't know what we would do without you.”

It feels good because you worked hard to become good at what you do. Being recognized for that effort is satisfying.

But then the one-time project becomes a recurring responsibility. That responsibility leads to another meeting, another committee, another client request, or another trip. Slowly, the number of things you are responsible for expands while your job title, salary, and number of hours in the day remain exactly the same.

Eventually, the work you were originally hired to do gets squeezed into whatever time remains.

That is the danger of scope creep. It rarely arrives as one enormous request. It builds gradually, often disguised as praise, opportunity, or evidence that you are valuable.

Constant Responsiveness Is Not the Same as Being Helpful

There is another expectation that can quietly consume your workday: the belief that being good at your job means being constantly available.

Between email, Slack, Teams, text messages, meetings, and notifications, people have more ways than ever to reach us. That can create an unspoken expectation that a committed employee responds almost immediately.

The result is a workday that starts to feel like a game of Whac-A-Mole. You answer one message, another appears. You handle one request, someone sends another. At the end of the day, you have been busy almost every minute, yet the important work sitting on your list that morning has barely moved.

Constant responsiveness is not necessarily helpfulness. Sometimes it is simply constant interruption.

Instead of responding to every message the moment it arrives, consider whether you could create two or three dedicated times during the day to check and respond. When you respond immediately to everything, you can unintentionally teach the people around you that immediate access to you is normal.

Sometimes a little space is exactly what you need to protect the work that requires your full attention.

The Three Costs of Doing Too Much at Work

The first cost of overextension is often the quality of your essential work. When your time and attention are scattered across responsibilities, meetings, messages, and projects, the work that actually depends on your particular talents gets pushed into the margins. You end up doing your most important work when you are tired, rushed, or trying to squeeze something meaningful into the 15 minutes between meetings.

That is not necessarily a reflection of your ability. It may be a reflection of a schedule that is no longer organized around what matters most.

The second cost is resentment. You see a colleague leaving work on time to catch a movie and think, “Must be nice.” You hear someone talk about having a free evening, and you feel a little irritation that seems disproportionate to what they actually said.

That resentment may not mean the other person is doing something wrong. Sometimes it is information. It can be a small signal that another person's choice has reminded you of something you wish you were allowing yourself to do.

Instead of judging the person who leaves on time, you can get curious about what your reaction is telling you. Maybe the question is not, “How can they do that?” Maybe it is, “What would need to change so I could do that too?”

The third cost is the family guilt loop. Work gets your sharpest thinking, your most focused hours, and often your best patience. By the time you get home, the people you love receive whatever energy remains.

Then the guilt kicks in.

You want to be a more present parent or partner, so you push yourself harder at home to compensate. That creates more exhaustion, which means less patience the following day, which creates more guilt. Around and around the loop goes, even though the pattern may have started with what was happening at work.

Protecting the Work You Are Actually There to Do

Your essential work is the work you were hired to do. It is where your particular strengths and skills matter most. Ideally, it is also the work that reminds you why you chose your career in the first place.

That does not mean every meeting, committee, side project, or request is unnecessary. It means those things are not free.

Every yes has a cost, and that cost is usually paid with the time and attention you would otherwise have available for something else.

Sometimes recognizing that requires a clarifying conversation with a manager or team. You do not have to storm into someone's office and announce that you refuse to take on another task. You can simply make the tradeoff visible.

You might say, “I want to make sure I'm doing my best work for you. I've noticed that the weekly updates across these projects are taking a significant amount of time away from completing the work itself. Could we look at a more efficient way for me to keep you updated?”

Or you might say, “I've taken on these additional projects alongside my core responsibilities, and I want to make sure we're aligned on the priority. I believe this should come first. Would you agree?”

That is not complaining. It is communicating clearly about capacity, priorities, and the quality of your work.

Start by Naming What Doesn't Belong

You do not have to overhaul your entire work life this week. Start smaller.

Look at your calendar and identify one project, committee, meeting, or recurring task that falls outside your essential responsibilities.

Then ask yourself two questions: Is this the best use of my particular skills and talents? What is it costing the work I am actually here to do?

You do not even have to change anything yet. The first step is simply noticing what has accumulated.

When you have spent years automatically equating more effort with better performance, it can be difficult to recognize that working harder is no longer solving the problem. At some point, the goal has to shift from proving how much you can handle to getting clear about what deserves your time, attention, and best work.

Because being capable of doing more does not automatically mean that doing more is the right choice.

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The information contained and documents referenced in the podcast “Your Priority Centered Life” are for entertainment, educational and informational purposes only, and are not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, professional medical or health treatment, diagnosis, or advice. We strongly encourage listeners to consult with medical providers or qualified mental health providers with issues and questions regarding any physical and/or mental health symptoms or concerns that they may have. Furthermore, the opinions and views expressed by podcast guests, partners and/or affiliates are not necessarily those of the podcast host. Dr. Alise Murray’s opinions and views are expressed in her individual capacity and are not to be construed as those of any of her podcast guests, partners and/or affiliates.