Hum Your Way Calmer? Body-Based Tools for the ADHD Brain, with Pen King
When you’re already feeling overwhelmed, advice to “just calm down” rarely gives you much to work with. You may know you need a pause without knowing what to do during that pause, especially when sitting quietly feels difficult.
In Episode 113 of Your Priority Centered Life, I talk with ADHD coach Pen King about his experience growing up with ADHD and the short, body-based practices he uses to manage stress.
Pen brings his lived experience and coaching perspective. As a psychologist, I add context about diagnosis, treatment, and finding support that fits your needs. Together, we explore how small practices can become useful additions to your everyday toolkit.
Understanding what you’re experiencing
Pen was diagnosed with ADHD around age five or six, during the 1990s. He describes growing up with less understanding and support than many families have access to today.
He also discusses his years taking stimulant medication, including the improvements he noticed and the side effects he experienced. Those experiences helped shape his interest in additional ways to support himself.
People’s experiences with treatment vary. A useful starting point is understanding what you’re actually dealing with. Difficulties with attention, memory, and getting started can occur with ADHD, but they can also accompany anxiety, depression, or poor sleep.
In our conversation, I explain why a careful professional evaluation matters. It helps guide decisions about which kinds of support may be appropriate for you.
Notice when achievement crowds everything else out
Pen also reflects on periods when his attention became heavily focused on work and achievement. Other parts of life received less care, and pushing harder became his usual response to feeling that he wasn’t doing enough.
That pattern can be familiar to people who have spent years trying to prove themselves. It can become difficult to recognize when you need rest, connection, or a change in expectations.
We discuss stepping back to consider the whole picture. How are you sleeping? Are you moving your body? Do you have time for relationships and activities you enjoy?
Those questions can help you notice what needs attention before adding another demand to your day.
A reset can be short and active
When people hear “mindfulness,” they often picture a long meditation with their eyes closed. That image can make the whole idea feel out of reach.
Pen shares more active options, including humming, sighing, and noticing sensations in the body. His suggestion for a small experiment is a brief hum followed by a check-in.
If you’d like to try it:
Notice how stressed or tense you feel, using a scale from one to ten.
Hum gently for a few comfortable breaths, noticing the sound and vibration. Pen suggests working toward about 30 seconds, without forcing yourself to reach that duration.
Check in again and notice whether anything feels different.
You’re gathering information about your own experience. If you don’t notice a change, you haven’t failed, and you don’t need to force the practice to work.
Choose a couple of tools you can actually use
It’s easy to turn helpful suggestions into another overwhelming list. Suddenly, you’re trying to meditate, exercise, journal, spend time outdoors, and follow a new routine every day.
In the episode, I encourage choosing a couple of practices that feel manageable even on a difficult day. That might be a brief reset, a walk, or an exercise you’ve discussed with your therapist.
The aim is to find things you can return to consistently and adjust as you learn what helps. Pen also emphasizes accepting that different days may call for different tools.
Give yourself credit for practicing
Some days you’ll feel more distracted, forgetful, or overwhelmed than others. Those experiences don’t determine your worth, and trying something that doesn’t help immediately is still an opportunity to learn.
Our conversation returns to self-compassion, gratitude, and making room for imperfect progress. You can seek support and practice new skills without expecting yourself to get everything right.
Listen to Episode 113 of Your Priority Centered Life for my full conversation with Pen King about ADHD, stress, burnout, and small tools to try alongside your existing care.
Learn more about Pen’s coaching and newsletter at pkjcoaching.com.
Pen is a coach, not a therapist or physician. This episode and article are educational and do not provide medical advice. Talk with your prescriber or therapist before making changes to your medication or treatment.
Take the Next Step Toward a More Priority-Centered Life
If this conversation has you thinking about all the things currently competing for your time and attention, the next step isn't necessarily finding another app. It may be figuring out what deserves protection in the first place. The free Prior 10 Assessment can help you take a clearer look at your priorities and how well your current use of time and energy aligns with them. You can take the assessment at Prior10.com and sign up for the weekly Sunday Reset Newsletter.
And if you enjoyed this conversation with Marlon, you can find more episodes of Your Priority Centered Life at dr-alise.com/podcast.
The information contained and documents referenced in the podcast “Your Priority Centered Life” are for entertainment, educational and informational purposes only, and are not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, professional medical or health treatment, diagnosis, or advice. We strongly encourage listeners to consult with medical providers or qualified mental health providers with issues and questions regarding any physical and/or mental health symptoms or concerns that they may have. Furthermore, the opinions and views expressed by podcast guests, partners and/or affiliates are not necessarily those of the podcast host. Dr. Alise Murray’s opinions and views are expressed in her individual capacity and are not to be construed as those of any of her podcast guests, partners and/or affiliates.